Create Your Own Weather

Tough days give you tough lessons

It will be a good day today, the weather report suggested.

Okay, so the outside weather is sorted. But what about the workplace weather, where I will be spending most of my productive daytime?

Already feeling annoyed thinking about yesterday while heading towards my workplace, I reached the lab and realised I had made mistakes in both experiments I ran the day before. Let me take you into the real weather report now.

Yesterday

I was juggling at least four things with a little overlap, because this is how I utilise my time efficiently. Two experiments for two projects, helping a colleague who is also helping me learn things, learning a new microscope downstairs, and a few other small tasks at different time points. And this is the story of almost all my workdays.

And then in a meeting, I was told: “You are taking forever.”

In my fifth month in a new workplace, I am already pushing my limits within limited time, so that I can still love what I do, progress, be efficient, and stay sane. This is the way I have always worked. And instead of good words, or even no words, “you are taking forever” is not something that helps.

The positive version of me would argue: every place and every person has drawbacks; take those moments as fuel to improve. But right now, I am cutting myself some slack to create room to breathe.

If I constantly absorb everything without being kind to myself, how will I ever develop my own voice to say: this is enough, or this is not okay?

The incident left me with two questions that I am still thinking about. At what point should you stop pushing yourself? And even when you know something is wrong, what can you actually do about it in an academic setup where raising your voice can still cost you your career?

I do not have clean answers to either. But I did manage to convey clearly that I cannot push myself further than this and still understand what I am doing scientifically. I said it, and it was heard. That felt like enough for now.

However, when your day ends like this, it is normal to overthink the same scenario happening again with a little bit more dramatic endings, and you cannot help yourself suffering in your imagination. This is what is happening with me now. And while talking to others, I see similarities in this matter in different workplaces.

For now, it seems, I have to keep going with whatever understanding I have and as long as things feel doable. But along with these similarities, I have also noticed a few differences at individual levels. What happens to you is outside weather, and what you do with that is an internal matter. And here, a life outside work really matters. And this is where having a hobby comes in.

Doesn’t matter what drama life throws at you; if something disconnects you from the same mental space and lets you breathe easily, it makes a lot of difference in the way we live our lives.

Hobby: create your own weather

By the end of the day, I found myself genuinely glad to have hobbies. And I noticed something I had not fully registered before.

The people around me are accomplished, driven, impressive in every measurable way. And almost all of them explain their hobbies in the past tense. I was an opera singer (I was amazed), I learnt taekwondo for eight years, I have learnt ballroom dancing, and so on. Also, almost everyone always talks about escaping their current life or current work role, as it is mentally exhausting.

So, this is so normal that it feels so natural to stay mentally drained. Shouldn’t we normalise it then?

So far, I have seen that many have replaced hobbies with more work. A few cannot make time because of family responsibilities. Either way, that part of them has quietly disappeared.

At this point, when I go back home and do something creative out of my imagination that helps me express myself in any way- writing, doodling, learning something new- I feel so blessed that I kept that tiny spark alive throughout. It makes my heart smile at the end of the day.

The importance of this spark I realise even more when you see the end of the tunnel ahead of your years-long pursuit clearer than before, and yet you feel empty inside while you have even somewhat proven yourself to the rest of the world.

I was disconnected from my hobbies for stretches of time, but in one way or another, I somehow made a corner for something that gave me joy, even when I did not fully realise what I was doing. And now, on days when things turn gloomy and without much of a purpose, my hobbies give me a surge of new life and a new lens to look through. It bounces something back in me whenever I hit rock bottom.

I have seen a few major ups and downs now to notice the difference clearly. Hobbies are not just something that helps you detach your brain for a while and make you feel happy. They expand your brain by providing different angles and lenses to keep you flexible & joyful.

If no one has told you this yet: if you have a hobby, or even just a curiosity to learn something new, make time for it. It will pay off in unexpected ways and will give you another level of inner peace. It might look like you could have done more work in that time. But this life will never be long enough to give it all to work anyway. Prioritise your personal things wisely. Be accomplished, be successful. Just do not lose the part of you that exists outside of it.

You cannot fix outside weather, but inside weather is all yours to create.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and views on this topic. Also, do share your hobbies… :)